Plutarch's Advice About Frank Criticism
We can be more persuasive in criticizing others when we acknowledge our own faults
One topic Plutarch discusses at length in his work How To Tell A Flatterer From A Friend is what the Greeks called parrhesia, sometimes translated as “freedom of speech'“, but better rendered in that work as “frankness of speech”. This frankness, which involves telling people truths they need to hear, but likely would rather not, is an essential component of any genuine and lasting friendship. It is also important within many other relationships.
As Plutarch tells us at multiple points in the work, that we need frankness of speech from those willing to give it to us. For example:
If we are careful to observe many and many a fault of our own, shameful and grievous, both of omission and commission, we will constantly be detecting our own need, not of a friend to commend and extoll us, but of a friend to take us to task, to be frank with us, and indeed to blame us when our conduct is bad (66A)
Near the end of the work, he advises us:
it is necessary to treat frankness as a fine art [philotekhnein] , inasmuch as it is the greatest and strongest medicine [pharmakon] in friendship, always needing, however, all care to hit the right occasion, and a tempering with moderation. (74D)
There are a number of ways in which, even if frankness is called for, we can make mistakes with it, and Plutarch identifies and provides guidance about many of them.
One potential snag in giving frank criticism to others arises when we criticize them for failings that we ourselves can be charged with. They might rightly retort: “Who are you to complain about me doing that? Do you think you’re better than me? I know you’re not!” Plutarch himself cites a line from Euripides:
Would you heal others, full of sores yourself! (71F)
Ideally the frank criticism would come from a person who doesn’t suffer from the same faults, but as Plutarch points out, we don’t live in an ideal world of that sort:
Circumstances often impel people that are none too good themselves to use admonition when in the company of others who are no better than they.
In these sorts of circumstances he suggests what the most useful approach will be, that is, one which involves and includes (sunemplektōn kai sumperilambanōn) the speaker themself in the frank criticism.
He uses Socrates as an example. He admits that he also suffers from ignorance and needs just as much as the people he criticizes to study virtue and to seek for the truth.
What sort of positive effect does this have? Plutarch tells us that criticizing oneself at the same time as others for the same fault, produces goodwill (eunoia, one of the key components of friendship) and trustworthiness (pistis).
By contrast, pretending not to have the faults one criticizes in another, when the other person can glimpse those in the one criticizing, annoys the target of the frank speaking, and proves ineffective. And rightly so!
So if we are in such a situation, if we do need to use frankness and criticize people for their own good, when our own hands and character are not as clean as we would like, as much as we might not like to admit our own shortcomings, we will do better for ourselves and for the person we are being frank with, to choose the more honest and humble approach.
Plutarch tells us:
Such things make a deep moral impression [ēthikōs], and persons are more likely to yield to those who have similar emotions [homoiopathein] but no feeling of contempt [mē periphronein] (72B)
This explanation is quite interesting, particularly given the use of that term, ēthikōs. Aristotle, who Plutarch knows well and brings up in many of his works, famously distinguished three main modes of persuasion: logos, ēthos, and pathos in his Art of Rhetoric. And of those three, the most powerful (but about which Aristotle tells us the least in that work, is ēthos.
What Plutarch is setting out for us here then, is one way that, despite not having the greatest character - in fact suffering the same defects as those we find ourselves having to engage in frankness about - we can powerfully influence those we are frank with for the better.
As a final note, there are people who are reluctant to call others out on their own bad behavior, motivations, or habits precisely because they say to themselves what they think the other will say to them: “Who are you to pass judgement on me? Look at yourself!” I think they can take heart, and perhaps a bit of needed confidence, from Plutarch’s discussion.
We don’t do any of our friends, loved ones, or associates favors by not being frank with them, and if it’s fear of a harsh response that holds us back, perhaps it would be helpful to remind ourselves of the powerful ethical appeal of criticizing both ourselves and others and pointing towards the good both of us fall short of.
Really interesting post, as always! I’d love to see some examples of how to implement Plutarch’s advice and actually deliver feedback in this way.